Going to cut right the chase on this one ladies and it’s this–
Recognize that you’re having a rough time (instead of ignoring it or pretending things will magically be better tomorrow). This might seem like a silly place to start, but I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought things were ok when they clearly were not. I would casually chat about issues with my friends and met their genuine concern with comments like “it’s not a big deal” or “everything is fine I just need to vent.” The latter really should have been an obvious sign, but it wasn’t. I was too busy trying to keep my head above water to see that the tide was only rising higher the longer I kept just trying to hold on.
The biggest benefit of being able to admit that things are tough is that it forces you to deal with the reality of your situation and that reality might otherwise be impossible to see if you’re not honest with yourself. About a year ago I had to deal with some financial issues and it took me months to put my foot down and be honest that things weren’t working anymore. While having those conversations cost me a lot mentally and emotionally for a few months, I wasn’t able to do what I needed to do when I wasn’t being honest about where I was. I spent months trying to talk to friends, my mother and my therapist pretending everything was going to be ok if I just stayed put and didn’t make any changes. It affected my health, sleep, wellness—my entire life. Looking back on that situation, I wish I had had the courage to be honest with myself sooner even though everything worked out in the end.
Had I had the conversation I needed to have, I could have saved myself some of the emotional pain I put myself through. With the story I shared above, I know it’s easier said than done to make big changes in a timely, convenient manner. Life rarely works out that way. As we move through this series, I’ll share some wellness tips to help you keep yourself when times get tough. I think the first step to getting on a path of healing is to be vulnerable and honest and say that something isn’t working so you can allow yourself to figure out how to turn things around.
Putting it into action: what’s one thing (big or small) that you feel could use tweaking for an entire overhaul? Write it down! Next, we’ll talk about thinking your ideal end state and starting down the road to getting there. See you again soon,